When turning around isn't giving up

The hike was off to a steep start.

I found this particular trail through some random “hikes in Vermont” Google search. The description made me think it would be manageable for a family of non-hikers. It said it was about a 45-minute hike, and the view from the top was spectacular.

That last part should have been a bit more of a clue than it was—that it was going to be an upward hike the whole time.

I quickly asked my family to find me a good walking stick, and we climbed. Forty minutes into the walk I asked my husband to try to figure out how close to the top we were, and it turned out we weren’t even close. This was NOT going to be a 45-minute hike for me. This is when I decided to have a little chat with myself. I was struggling, but I also felt like I COULD make it to the top. I also wasn’t enjoying myself. I didn’t really care that much about the view. It was day one of the trip and I felt quite sure that although I could complete the hike, I would probably pay for it with a sore body for a lot of the rest of the trip.

I made a choice in that moment that, in the past, I would have felt too guilty to make. I was going to stop climbing and head back down to the bottom and wait for my family there. I like to tell people I have good boundaries, but I am also willing to admit they don’t always come easily to me. As I climbed down the mountain, I had a constant “good job, Lara!” thought pattern in my head as I tried to psych myself into believing that it really WAS okay not to complete the hike with my family.

There is always a part of me that wishes I could do all the things. Realizing that I can’t and being okay with it takes practice, but it’s something I continue to work on. I didn’t give up; I made a change. I wasn’t failing; I was honouring my body and my desires.

And the one thing I felt completely confident in was knowing that not one of my family members was mad at me for not continuing. Not one of them made me feel badly about it or criticized me and my physical abilities.

I enjoyed my half hike, I enjoyed the photos my family sent me from the top, and I enjoyed the rest of the trip. It was the right choice for me.

Are there times when you wished you stopped doing something that wasn’t working for you? Are there times when you did stop and you’re glad you did? Share in the comments!